A lesson in baking

I had every intention today to post in my recipe section. I was so excited about a new pie crust recipe I learned while watching the Food Network this weekend - a recipe which included the word "easy."
Well let me tell you what, I will NOT be posting anything in the recipe section today. Instead, I will be listing the do's and do not's of pie baking. These are tried and true, believe you me.

Do Not's
1. DO NOT believe a from-scratch pie recipe is ever going to be easy. The people who tell you this will have to answer to a Higher Authority for their lies at a later date.
2. DO NOT bake when young children are awake and in your hair. No loving words will come out of your mouth.
3. DO NOT plan on impressing anyone with your pie - enough said.

Now for the Do's
1. DO have a couple (or a dozen) frozen, from-the-store pie crusts hiding in your freezer.
2. DO, if you insist on from-scratch recipes, plan on doing a lattice-work top crust. It hides flaws and can be assembled in pieces that have broken off of your crust.
3. DO - and this one is VERY important - have a bottle of wine and a straw on hand. VERY IMPORTANT.
4. DO - no matter how hard it was - tell people it was easy to make. It makes you look like Martha Stewart when they cannot themselves make a pie to save their lives.

That concludes my lesson in pie baking today.

Oh, and Bible Study group: I have a delightful homemade apple pie I am bringing for our treat tonight. It was SO easy to make. I just followed the recipe. I didn't throw a fit while I made it, didn't yell at my children - no, no, no. I had it all together. 

Yeah, I wouldn't believe it either.